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The State of the Black Community

I was asked by a magazine publisher to write a short piece stating my opinion on the State of the Black Community and what I would do to make it better.  I chose to keep it to 500 words for the exercise but I’m giving serious consideration to a series of posts on this subject.  Of course, it’s our personal experiences that create the lens with which we view the world.  Here’s a very small piece of my view of our community.    I’d like to hear yours.  Post a comment at the end and let me know what you’re thinking.

Many great things came out of the desegregation of our schools in the 1950’s and the Civil Rights movement of the 1960’s.  However, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  The late Dr. Miles Munroe said, “He who creates the law creates the culture”.  These laws which banned discrimination and racial segregation against African-Americans and women and the abolishment of the doctrine of “separate but equal” in relation to children’s education, also began the breakdown of the black family and the black community as a whole.

I grew up in an all-black neighborhood in the 1970’s. It was a time when we could play outside all day with no fear.   Why?  Because the lady four houses up the street worked with your momma, the man down the street at the corner played cards with your daddy and both your Aunties lived two and three streets over.  And if that weren’t enough, every Sunday morning nearly everyone got together for church. The black community was our extended family.

This extended family shared common concerns and worked together to achieve certain goals.  Our socio-economic conditions were physically similar and this created a similar mindset on how to overcome our current situations.  We didn’t have the crabs in a barrel mentality but the mindset of pulling each other up.

On the one hand it was absolutely necessary for the 1954 Brown Vs Board of Education court decision and passage of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.  As a people we were denied basic rights and equal education opportunities for our children.  All necessary positive changes.  However, prior to these decisions, while we were segregated from whites, we were together as a people.

I’m not opposing the need for the changes on one level. I don’t believe it was the physical move of the joined communities that caused the problems but rather the mental detachment from our own.  The forced conditions of segregation held our families together on so many levels.  Subconsciously, as our physical proximity changed because of our new-found ability to live, work and go to school where we desired, our mindsets also became detached.

What once was a subconscious shift, we must now consciously shift the pendulum back in the favor of Black family and community.  How often do we want change but we don’t work hard to achieve it?  How often do you know change is needed but we won’t do anything to affect that change? We must not be hearers only, but doers.

Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”.  If we want our families and communities close again, we have to want it bad enough to change.  In order for there our circumstances to change, there must first be a paradigm shift in our thinking.  We must break out of the box of “us four and no more” in our prayers.  Each one of us must be the change we want to see.

What do you think?

Be well.

All Lives Matter


And for that matter, All Lives Matter.

Humility + Prayer + Seeking + Turning = Forgiveness & Healing

2 Chronicles 7:14 (NIV) If my people, who are called by my name, would humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and forgive their sins and will heal their land.

Let’s make it happen.

Be well my friends.

my past is catching up with me

What do you do when everything hurts?  Your head hurts from trying to figure everything out.  Your heart hurts from the aching feeling that’s been there for way too long.  Your body aches from the tension of the days and weeks you’ve been stuck in this same place. Life seems a blur.  Just walking through surviving not really living.  It’s a blur.  These long days turn into weeks and into months and even years.

Your spirit is trying to break out but seems overwhelmed by the worries and cares of the world.  At times, it feels like you will break free and then…Your situation seems to revert back to the really bad days of what some try to call the good ole-days.

It’s in these times that we must bow the head, bend the knee, lay prostrate before God and get into His presence.  There are times when the hurt is so deep that we can do nothing but bow our head, bend our knee and lay prostrate.  The words may not even come.  Guttural sounds and utterances may erupt from deep within.  I believe it is at these times that the Holy Spirit interprets our moanings and groanings as the Word says in Romans.  It is at these times that our previous prayers and the prayers of the various friends and family’s take over for us.  When the hurt runs so deep that you can’t even seem to utter the name of Jesus, it is then that the first Intercessor goes before the Father for us.

How do we get past this place to a place of counting everything joy as we go through various trial and temptations?  How do we get to a place of rejoicing in the Lord always?  I believe a part of getting to this place is from the prayers that were prayed yesterday and the praise from last week and the service from last month and from chasing after the Father in previous years.  There is a saying that your past will catch up with you.  In times like this, I hope the saying is true.

There is no one like our Father.  Always there, always hoping and pulling for us.  Always a constant and faithful God.  Never changing.  Hiding us in the shadow of His wings.

He is our rock and our firm foundation.  He is our chief cornerstone.  He is never failing. Never ending. He is our Constant.  He is our Hope.  He is our Peace.  He is our Comfort.

How dare us believe or think for one moment that we are to rejoice with Him but not go through anything with Him or for Him.

My heart’s prayer is that in your times of trouble and times of pain, your past praise and worship will catch up with you.  You will be able to pull from your times of studying the Word and find the Light.  You will be able to look back on your previous victories in Him and gain strength.  My prayer is that we all learn to lean on Him for everything.  We will learn to trust Him with the hurts of our mind, body and emotions.

Be well my friends,

KayD G.


I’ve heard that before

I’ve heard that before.   Hurting people hurt people. I believe that statement is true but what’s it all about?  For those of you who read the Relove blog faithfully, you know that I always write about an experience I’ve had or a thought or a concept God has placed on my heart.  Well today I’m being a fully obedient vessel.

I was listening to Dr. David Anderson today on WAVA 105.1 in the Washington, DC area. His entire show was about Anger.  One caller’s comments prompted Dr. Anderson to begin discussing why hurting people hurt people.  I was so deeply moved by the comments that Dr. Anderson delivered, I had to share them on this platform.  God was certainly prompting me to do so. My heart’s prayer is that although I may not be able to perfectly regurgitate all Dr. Anderson said, my comments here will be a seed planted in you that will bear fruit in this current season.

Summarizing Dr. Anderson’s comments with a bit of what God placed on my heart:

Anger is actually a second emotion not a first emotion. Anger is used by people who are hurt.   Let’s take an instance where you hurt my feelings.  I’m hurting badly.  But instead of showing you my hurt, I show you my anger.  What I display towards you is my anger, never my hurt.  This way, I’m in a safer place.  You never see my vulnerable place and therefore, you can’t hurt me anymore.  I’m now masking my hurt with this anger.  I’ve built up this wall around my hurt.   My hurt gets manifested through the emotion of anger in sarcasm. My hurt gets manifested through the emotion of anger in little jabs and digs I take out on you.  All of this is done to mask the hurt.  I now, through my anger, only want to hurt you like you hurt me.

Make sense?

When you’re dealing with someone who is hurt or when you are hurt, you must realize that you have two issues you must deal with.  First, you have to tear down the wall of anger. Remember this when dealing with an angry teen, an angry spouse or an angry church member.  Prayerfully, when that person learns to control their anger they’ve made it through the first step.

THEN, you must deal with the issue of the hurt. Often times, I’ve watched teens on the show “Scared Straight”.  Some of them are so angry.  But if you listen to their stories it’s often heard,  “my mother left”, or “my father wasn’t there” or “my parents got divorced”. That teen is hurt.  So often times when you are dealing with a person who seems angry all the time or has what we term “an attitude problem”, these are not bad people, these are hurting people.

My heart’s prayer is that you take these words to heart the next time you are angry or you are dealing with someone who is displaying anger.  If you’re communicating with that person, chances are you love that person.  Here’s your chance to Relove that person. Take the time to take a RE-look at the situation and the person.  Dig to the root of the problem.  Look past the gift God has given you in that person and look to the Giver of LIfe who gave you the gift and help them work through the hurt.

It may just make all the difference in your life and theirs.

Be well my friends. God Bless.

KayD G.

Set in Stone

toolstop-47This picture depicts a vision the Father gave to me about two years ago. I was standing in a huge bucket with my bare feet. The bucket began to slowly fill with wet cement. I could feel the cold, wet paste seep between my toes and cover my feet. I didn’t flinch or move even an inch. I didn’t shout for help or cry out for someone to save me from the fast drying stronghold around now my ankles and calves.

One thing you have to know about me.  I do not like to be held down.  I do not like to be forced to be in a position where I don’t want to be.  It’s like backing a cat in a corner, I want to come out fighting.  But in this vision, I didn’t feel any anxiety at all.  I actually felt completely free.  It was at this time the Lord revealed to me that the cement was His Word. He told me that I was to totally immerse myself in His Word and never move from it.  With this posture, I would obtain the freedom I so desperately desired.

The Lord was telling me that He was supposed to be the only stronghold in my life.

2 Samuel 22:3, reads like the Psalms as it states:

my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior— from violent people you save me.

and further in Psalm 18:2:

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

As we know, our spirits are renewed and made perfect as we receive Christ through Salvation.  But our minds have to be renewed day by day.  There is a scripture in 2 Chronicles that gives us a crucial weapon in our arsenol to help us renew our minds.

2 Chronicles 20:3 (AMP) states,

Then Jehoshaphat feared, and set himself [determinedly, as his vital need] to seek the Lord; he proclaimed a fast in all Judah.

Even though Jeohoshaphat feared, he set his mind…determinedly, as his vital need…to seek the Lord.

We are to think on those things that cause us fear and trepidation.
Think on those issues of life that have caused us trouble in the past.
Think on those recurring issues in our relationships that cause such heartache and pain.

And then after we have pondered these issues, set in our minds, be determined in our thinking, that we will handle these situations as God intended; putting on the armor of God; speaking life and not death through the power of our tongues; responding to insult and threats with a soft answer which the Word tells us will turn away wrath; exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit in all situations.

Won’t you walk with me on this continual reLOVE journey to Freedom.  Set your mind today.

Be well friends.

Hearing His Voice

First, let me say again Happy New Year to all of you.  God is already doing some amazing things in 2015.  At my church, we are in a time of consecration.  We are removing distractions from our lives at the first part of this year, sitting at the feet of the Master and soaking in wisdom and knowledge and gleaning understanding for what the year will bring.  I thank God for removing me from a Martha-position these last couple of weeks into a Mary-position.  With all of the business of the Christmas season and the end of the year, it’s easy to lose focus of the things that are really important.  I thank God for vision and clarity of mind!

While I’ve been sitting at the feet of the Master, it’s become more clear to me how God speaks to me.  I know often times we wonder if the voice we are hearing is God or the enemy or our own thoughts.  Allow me to share a few of my thoughts on this with you.

God never comes to play games. It’s not that He doesn’t like to laugh and be joyful but He doesn’t play mind games.  He doesn’t toy with us.  He doesn’t come with riddles. He may ask us questions but he never comes contradicting or questioning His Word.

The enemy comes with riddles and games and accusations sometimes like a tape recorder that loops the same words over and over.  He comes with sarcasm.  He comes to make you feel bad.  He comes to distort the Truth of God.  He comes to paint God in a negative light.  He comes with an accusing tone and he comes to discredit God’s Word like he did with Eve when he said to her, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

If for no other reason, this is why it’s vitally important for us to know the Word of God.  So when the enemy comes, we will be able to combat his lies with the Truth. We have to know the truth in order to discern a lie.  Please hear me, the old saying, “what you don’t know won’t hurt you” is another lie from the pit of Hell.  What you don’t know will kill you!

Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10a).  He wants to steal every ounce of joy you have; he wants to kill your dreams and ambitions; he wants to destroy our marriages and our family relationships and our friendships.  He wants to take away our positive attitudes and outlook on life.

But God finished this verse with Jesus continuing by saying, “I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10b).  Thank God for Jesus.

When the Holy Spirit speaks to us, He brings clarity to His Word.  He confirms His Word.  He upholds His Word or uses His Word to bring an example to your mind of a person in His Word who may be going through a similar situation as you.  On a personal note, what I’ve found is that when God speaks to me, not only is it comforting and calming and soothing, His voice comes in a complete thought. It’s like He says everything all at once and I completely understand it. And always I can take what He says and find it in His word.

That’s the key to it all…His Word. If there is ever a question as to whether it’s God speaking to you or not, you can check it against His word.  God’s word has all the answers.  His IS the answer.

How does God speak to you?.  Does he speak to you in dreams or visions?  Does he speak to you through pictures or people?  Do you see images in the clouds?  Whatever it is, I would love to hear about it.

Please send your comment and let me know how you discern the voice of God.

Be well my friends.  And God Bless you.

KayD G.

Happy Birthday reLOVE

Happy Birthday reLOVE!!!

It’s been one year since the launch of this blog site.  I pray that this year for you has been one of learning and growing and living fearless.  Even if it’s just a little more than before, you’re a better person than you were this same time last year.

I pray this new year will bring for you a life full of rejoicing, renewal, rejuvenation, rekindling, revival, rebuilding, resurrection.  For us, it will bring the
reLOVE, Journey to Freedom book release.  I hope you will continue with me on the journey.

Let me be the first to say to you, Happy New Year friends!

Be well and be blessed.  Talk to you next year!

KayD G.

Raindrops and Thanksgiving

Raindrops and Thanksgiving 

I'm fascinated by nature and the weather. In the summer when I was a young girl I used to lay out on my front lawn and stare up at the stars at night. When there was a deep snow the entire neighborhood would spend hours outside shoveling and sledding. And on days when there was a hard rain, like yesterday, I used to go outside and stand in the rain until my grandmother hollered at me to come inside. Forced to come inside I would then sit and look at the window pane and watch the raindrops slide down the window.

Have you ever watched raindrops? Little itty-bitty bits of water. They reach the surface individually but as they begin to slide down the window pane, one connects with another and another connects with another and as they do they gain momentum. And if you continue to watch, the more and more that slide down the same space travel even faster than the ones before.

How similar it is with us.

We are all little like the itty-bitty raindrops.  We begin life traveling independent of each other but as we join together traveling down the road of life, we gain momentum.  

I am thankful for all of the people connecting in my life.  The "Raindrops" who are traveling down the road of life with me.  

Some of you I know and some of you I don't but if you are reading this, you are one of those raindrops in my life and I am thankful to God for you.  

I pray that you all have a blessed Thanksgiving weekend enjoying the time off, having fun shopping and or spending time with friends and family.

Be well and God bless you.

KayD G.