Hole to Whole

My oldest son has always been afraid of spiders.  Especially the big, hairy, rubber black ones that can be seen around Halloween.  I was sitting and talking with my youngest son the other night and surprisingly, I found out that he is afraid of spiders too. I thought to myself, that’s weird.  To have both of my children afraid of the same thing.

And then I thought deeper still.

A lot of us are afraid of the same things.

About 12 years ago, my sister passed away very unexpectedly.  After breaking a bone in her foot, she developed a blood clot that traveled to her lung. Literally, she was here one day and gone the next.  Before that time, two of my aunts died of blood clot related illnesses and my mother has had multiple lower extremity blood clots through the years.  And then it hit me.  Last year, I developed multiple blood clots in my lungs and one in my leg.   Immediately, horrible thoughts entered into my mind. Thoughts of leaving my husband and my boys behind.  Thoughts of my parents having to go through losing another daughter. And immediately I began to cast these thoughts away from me.

Several things I realized about myself during this time, but one thing is for sure, my worst fear had surfaced in my own life.  And if I had been suppressing these fearful feelings for all of these years, then others in my family had been doing the same.  We were afraid of the same things and that fear had once again manifested in our family.

As I was emailing with a co-worker the other day about her medical issues, I could hear the fear in the words she wrote.   It’s like it jumped off the page at me.  She was afraid of living with the pain, she was afraid the medical procedure she was going to have this week wouldn’t work, she was afraid of not being whole.  I could sympathize with her through all of that because those are some of the things I had felt nearly a year ago.

But here’s the difference.  That Sunday morning when I couldn’t breath, I cried out to the only Person who I knew could help me, my Savior Jesus.  I cried out to Him to save me.  I cried out to Him that I knew He had more work for me to do and that He wouldn’t break the hearts of my parents again by loosing me, now their one and only living child.  I cried out to the One who I knew wouldn’t allow my husband and my children to be without their wife and mother.  I cried out and asked for His help.

On the other hand, when I asked my co-worker if there was anything she wanted me to lift in prayer she responded, “It wouldn’t hurt if you could think of me in your prayers”.  That hurt me.  It was at this moment that I realized that she didn’t know my friend Jesus and that it was up to me to be sure she did.

Some say God created a hole inside each one of us that only He can fill.  Some try to fill it with work, or a girlfriend, or a bottle or money but I know it’s a hole that only He can fill.  He is the only one who can make us whole. After my ordeal with my health issue, I made a decision not to worry about anything ever again.  I may be concerned about something but I will never worry again.  I make a conscious choice to not be anxious for anything but in all things, through prayer and supplication, to let my requests be known to God.  And you know what happens after that?  The peace of God that surpasses what my mind can wrap around and what my lips can find the words to say, will be in my heart and in my mind in Christ Jesus.

My prayer for my co-worker and those like her is not just that her medical procedure is 100% successful but that her mind is renewed about the man named Jesus.  That He alone is able to take her from having a hole to being whole.

You may have someone in your life that you recognize needs to be made whole.  I encourage you to share our Jesus with them today.   And we all have our own fears that we have allowed to make a place in our lives.  I encourage you to find and to expel those fears from your life with the Words of God you know can combat any and everything.

Be well, my friends.

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